After we returned from Monterey, I felt it my duty to call another meeting, as my brethren made no effort to relieve my feelings. I decided to move forward in the strength of God and again express my feelings and free myself from the suspicions and reports circulated to our injury. I bore my testimony and related things which had been shown me in the past history of some present, warning them of their dangers and reproving their wrong course of action. I stated that I had been placed in most disagreeable positions. When families and individuals were brought before me in vision, it was frequently the case that what was shown me in relation to them was of a private nature, reproving secret sins. I have labored with some for months in regard to wrongs of which others knew nothing. As my brethren see these persons sad, and hear them express doubts in regard to their acceptance with God, also feelings of despondency, they have cast censure upon me, as though I were to blame for their being in trial. Those who thus censured me were entirely ignorant of what they were talking about. I protested against persons’ sitting as inquisitors upon my course of action. It has been the disagreeable work assigned me to reprove private sins. Were I, in order to prevent suspicions and jealousy, to give a full explanation of my course, and make public that which should be kept private, I should sin against God and wrong the individuals. I have to keep private reproofs of private wrongs to myself, locked in my own breast. Let others judge as they may, I will never betray the confidence reposed in me by the erring and repentant, or reveal to others that which should only be brought before the ones that are guilty. I told those assembled that they must take their hands off and leave me free to act in the fear of God. I left the meeting relieved of a heavy burden. {1T 584.1} | |
Vidnesbyrd for menigheden bind 1 kapitel 103. 584. Fra side 584 i den engelske udgave. | tilbage |
Efter at vi havde vendt tilbage fra Monterey, følte jeg det var min pligt at kalde sammen til et andet møde, da mine brødre ikke gjorde sig nogen anstrengelse for at lindre mine følelser. Jeg besluttede mig for at gå frem i Guds styrke og atter give udtryk for mine følelser og befri mig selv fra de mistanker og rygter der løb rundt til vor skade. Jeg frembar mit vidnesbyrd og fortalte om ting, som var mig blevet vist i den foregående beretning og advarede dem mod den fare de var i og irettesatte dem for deres forkerte handlemåde. Jeg gjorde opmærksom på, at jeg var blevet sat i den ubehageligste situation. Når familier og enkeltpersoner blev bragt frem for mig i et syn, var det ofte tilfældet at det, som blev vist mig med hensyn til dem, var af fortrolig art og skjulte synder skulle irettesættes. Jeg har arbejdet med nogle i månedsvis med fejl, som andre intet vidste om. Når brødrene ser disse personer være ked af det, (585) og hører dem give udtryk for om Guds accept af dem og udtrykker også fortvivlelse, har de kastet kritik over mig, som om jeg skulle bebrejdes for at de var i prøvelser. Dem, som kritiserer mig på den måde er fuldstændig uvidende med hvad de taler om. Jeg protesterer mod personer, der sidder som inkvisitorer over min handlemåde. Det er blevet mit ubehagelige arbejde at irettesætte skjulte synder. Skulle jeg, for at modvirke mistanker og jalousi, forklare min fremgangsmåde fuldt ud og offentliggøre det, som skulle være skjult, ville jeg synde imod Gud og forurette de pågældende personer. Jeg må holde de skjulte fejls skjulte irettesættelser for mig selv, holdt inden for mit eget bryst. Lad andre dømme efter hvad de kan, men jeg vil aldrig forråde den tillid som er givet mig af den fejlende og angrende og afsløre det for andre, som kun burde bringes for den, som er skyldig. Jeg fortalte de forsamlede, at de måtte fjerne deres hænder fra mig og lade mig handle frit i frygt for Gud. Jeg forlod mødet, lettet for en stor byrde. |