In my mind the justice of God eclipsed His mercy and love. I had been taught to believe in an eternally burning hell, and the horrifying thought was ever before me that my sins were too great to be forgiven, and that I should be forever lost. The frightful descriptions that I had heard of souls in perdition sank deep into my mind. Ministers in the pulpit drew vivid pictures of the condition of the lost. They taught that God proposed to save none but the sanctified. The eye of God was upon us always; every sin was registered and would meet its just punishment. God Himself was keeping the books with the exactness of infinite wisdom, and every sin we committed was faithfully recorded against us. {1T 23.4}

I mine tanker formørkede Guds retfærdighed hans barmhjertighed og (24) kærlighed. Jeg var blevet lært at tro på et evigt brændende helvede. Den frygtindgydende tanke stod hele tiden for mig, at mine synder var for store til at kunne tilgives, og at jeg ville være fortabt for evigt. De skræmmende beskrivelser, som jeg havde hørt, om evigt fortabte sjæle fæstnede sig dybt i mit sind. Fra talerstolen kom prædikanter med livagtige beskrivelser af de fortabtes tilstand. De lærte, at Gud kun havde i sinde at frelse de helliggjorte. Guds øje var altid over os; enhver synd blev registreret og ville få sin retfærdige straf. Gud havde selv ansvaret for bøgerne og førte dem med en uendelig visdoms nøjagtighed. Enhver synd, vi begik, blev trofast nedskrevet imod os.