Some think it is a virtue to be unrestrained, and they will speak in praise of their outspoken habit of talking out disagreeable things which are in the heart. They let an angry spirit exhaust itself in a torrent of reproach and faultfinding. The more they talk, the more excited they become, and Satan stands by to help on the work, for it suits him. The words irritate the one to whom they are spoken, and they will be thrown back, giving provocation for still harder words, until a little matter has blazed into a great flame. Both of you feel that you have all the trials that you can possibly endure and that your lives are most unhappy. Resolutely commence the work of controlling your thoughts, your words, your actions. When either of you feels the rising of resentment, make it a rule to go by yourself and humbly pray to God, who will hearken to the prayer which goeth not forth from feigned lips. {4T 243.1}

Nogle anser det for en dyd at være tøjlesløse og de vil prale af deres dristige vane, at tale om de ubehagelige ting i hjertet. De lader en vrede udtømme sig selv ved en strøm af irettesættelser og kritik. Jo mere de snakker, jo mere oprevne bliver de og Satan står ved siden af for at fremhjælpe dette, for det passer ham. Ordene irriterer ham de siges til og de vil blive kastet igen, provokere til endnu hårdere ord, indtil en lille ting er blæst op til en stor flamme. I begge føler at I har alle de prøvelser som I overhovedet kan udholde og at jeres tilværelse er den mest ulykkelige. Begynd straks på at styre jeres tanker, jeres ord og jeres handlinger. Når I hver især mærker bitterheden rejse sig, så gør det til en regel at selv bede ydmygt til Gud, som vil lytte til den bøn, som ikke kommer ud af hykleriske læber.